


Stressed Illogic

by nhasablog



Category: Star Trek: Alternate Original Series (Movies)
Genre: Tickling
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-24
Updated: 2019-01-24
Packaged: 2019-10-15 17:17:21
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,062
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17532935
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nhasablog/pseuds/nhasablog
Summary: Jim shows Spock what tickling is… on Bones.





	Stressed Illogic

**Author's Note:**

> I'm gonna delete my tumblr, so I'm posting a bunch of fics people have requested that never ended up here. I hope you like this! Feel free to unsubscribe to escape the email notifs lmao (but come back in, like, a week because ily)

Of all the things Bones thought he would hear come out of the mouth of the Vulcan nuisance, a question about what tickling felt like wasn’t one of them. It wasn’t even remotely close to one of them.

He shifted his weight from one foot to another, observing Spock and his ever-present serious frown. Not that he would ever be able to, but he couldn’t find a single sign that he was messing with him, but then again, Spock wouldn’t ever crack a joke anyway, so his musings had to be earnest.

Bones cleared his throat. “Why do you ask?”

“I happened to come across the verb during my research of the human culture-” Bones really itched to ask _why_ he was researching that when he could’ve just asked him or Jim, but he kept his question to himself. “-and I came to the frankly surprising realization that I do not know what the sensation of tickling feels like, nor have I ever witnessed it, and therefore I come to you in the hopes that you can provide me with an explanation.” He took in Bones’ bewildered expression. “Purely because, as a medical officer, anatomy-”

“Stop lying to him,” Jim said, suddenly in the room, as if he’d been lurking outside this entire time, which he probably had. “He came to me first because he figured he didn’t have the time to deal with - what did you call it? - stressed illogic. Spock’s noticed you’ve been stressed, you see. I told him an actual doctor could probably explain the scientific, anatomical bits, but he insisted on coming to me anyway. But I decided that our dear doctor could help us anyway, didn’t I, Spock?”

“You did indeed, Captain.”

Bones was confused. “Why am I here?” he demanded, even though he’d technically been here since the beginning of his shift and they were the ones intruding.

Something twinkled in Jim’s eyes. That twinkle couldn’t mean anything but trouble. “Because I need to tickle someone to show Spock what it’s like, don’t I? And I’m not stupid enough to tickle _him_.” He pointed to the Vulcan in question. “So that leaves you.”

Bones was still so taken aback by the whole situation that he let Jim pounce on him and bring him down onto a medical bed. He even let him straddle him and worm his hands under his arms, but once those fingers started wiggling against the sensitive skin on his underarms his brain finally caught up with what was happening, and his struggle was desperate from the get go. “Get off me, you brahahat!”

“Be quiet, Bones, we’re helping Spock. You see this,” he said, speaking to Spock now. “is defensiveness. It’s when you want someone to stop, but you insult them at the same time because you’re not ready to completely beg for mercy yet. But we’ll get there.”

If Bones could growl right now he would. Jim had pinned him good, further proving to Bones that he was very much capable of putting up a fight when Bones tried to get him, which meant that he actually didn’t mind Bones tickling him. Oh, he was gonna tease him so much once he was free. You just wait, James T. Kirk.

“Hey, no! No, no, no, no, dohohon’t!”

Jim had abandoned his underarms and was on his thighs, which mean that he was dangerously close to his worst spot, and it was driving him insane.

“We’re doing this quickly because I want you to be able to see the three stages of tickling before Bones inevitably escapes. This.” He gave Bones’ thighs a few squeezes before continuing. “This is panic. He’s finally realized that he’s not getting away, and that I have all the power, and so he keeps repeating variations of ‘no’ and ‘don’t’ because he’s too frantic to think of proper sentences. And as you can see he’s still struggling desperately, but he’s losing energy, meaning he’s getting weaker. You should always touch someone’s most sensitive spot when they’re too tired to react fully, because otherwise they’ll end up either pulling a muscle or, worse, hurting you along the way.”

Bones didn’t like this. Didn’t like how accurate Jim’s words were, because if he was losing energy _this_ quickly it meant…

Oh no.

_Oh no._

Jim, for the love of Nova, please don’t-

Bones screamed with laughter as Jim spidered his nails over his knees, his pants offering practically no protection. Was he desperate enough to invest in full body armor?

Right now, possibly.

“Please!” he found himself howling. “Please stohohop!”

“And we’ve reached the final stage. Defeat. The victim screaming for mercy.” Jim sounded smug, though of course Bones couldn’t properly tell. “Have you had enough?”

“Yehehes!”

“Always ask them stuff like that, to establish the power you have over them.”

Bones was going to _kill_ him.

“And then, when you’ve stopped, be prepared to run, because their energy will magically return once they’re free, and then you’re screwed.”

Jim and Spock were out of the room before Bones could even catch his breath, though he was sure Spock’s escape was a lot calmer and logical than Jim’s. He turned to the side, allowing himself a moment of rest before becoming wanted for murder. His knees were still tingling from the ghost tickles, and he kept rubbing at them almost desperately. Jim had only been torturing him for about a minute, but it had felt like an eternity.

Despite his ordeal that he would grumble about for weeks he at least had two things going for him now.

  1. Jim had never ever attempted to kill him after Bones had gotten him good, meaning he most definitely enjoyed it, just like Bones had always suspected, and he wasn’t going to quietly sit on this information. Oh no. He would tease the kid to _death_.


  1. He hadn’t actually told Spock what tickling _felt_ like, so Bones figured another lesson was needed in order to give the Vulcan the full picture. Why do anything halfheartedly, after all?



He felt a lot happier about their situation when he left the room to go find those two idiots, who were most likely hiding at the Bridge, as if the crew was going to stop him. Jim must know that _nothing_ was going to stop him, which was yet another way to prove his theory.


End file.
